Interview with Jim Struve about Men Healing
Less so now that in the past, but services for sexual violence have historically been gendered, with minimization or outright exclusion of services for males. Many of the laws were also gendered and not applicable to males. Luckily, these areas of barriers have diminished – although not yet fully overcome.
“I seek gender parity; I wish for equality in media exposure that sexual violence impacts males as well as females. I also wish the media would devote more attention to the inspirational stories of healing rather than the tragedy of trauma. The narratives of what survivors discover in their healing are profound and the changes/accomplishments/possibilities that are released thru recovery are sometimes invisible – I wish the media would cover more journeys of healing to inspire other survivors to take the leap into their own recovery. ”
Men Healing collaboration with the Rape Recovery Center
In 2020, as part of the Tools for Healing series, the Rape Recovery Center cultivated more awareness for male survivors not only at our agency but also in the field of sexual violence. What better way to highlight healing and community for male survivors than to interview and spotlight the work of Jim Struve. Jim is the founder and Executive Director of Men Healing, an organization dedicated to Inspiring Hope, Changing Lives. We hope the interview below increases awareness, healing, and, overall, more tools to incorporate into your healing process.
What are some of the barriers that you have seen with male survivors accessing services?
Less so now than in the past, but services for sexual violence have historically been gendered, with minimization or outright exclusion of services for males. Many of the laws were also gendered and not applicable to males. Luckily, these areas of barriers have diminished – although not yet fully overcome. In many ways, male survivors remain a “Visible Invisible” population – in other words, 1 of every 6 males is a survivor; yet most male survivors are invisible or perceive themselves to be one of a kind, live in secrecy – and many of us do not know that males in our lives may be survivors. “Male” and “victim” remain an oxymoron – this creates a cultural barrier that personally impacts most male survivors.
Also, sexual victimization is pathologized by mental health professionals. Thereby, the media - and public perception – have a distorted view of trauma = pathology. Post Traumatic Stress is portrayed as a “disorder,” – which creates a barrier for men who fear being negatively diagnosed if they seek help. We need to change the paradigm and more accurately approach sexual victimization as an “Injury” – therefore, Post Traumatic Stress Injury. Changing the paradigm may reduce a significant barrier discouraging men from seeking healing resources.
What is something you wish general media would consider when highlighting sexual violence issues?
I seek gender parity; I wish for equality in media exposure that sexual violence impacts males as well as females. I also wish the media would devote more attention to the inspirational stories of healing rather than the tragedy of trauma. The narratives of what survivors discover in their healing are profound, and the changes/accomplishments/possibilities that are released through recovery are sometimes invisible – I wish the media would cover more journeys of healing to inspire other survivors to leap their recovery.
(MenHealing has launched a video project, “Beyond Survival: Voices of Healing,” which features narratives of healing and hope. ( Access: https://menhealing.org/resources-for-survivors/video-archive/ )
In your perspective, why is community impactful to the healing process?
Most male survivors still perceive they are alone; lacking awareness of how many other males share this unfortunate life experience. Therefore, male survivors internalize acceptance of isolation and aloneness. Others view these behaviors as typical traits of masculinity. Healing in a group or community for male survivors is essential to break through this experience of isolation and aloneness. Discovering a sense of belonging with others is one of the most impactful aspects of healing for male survivors. It also provides the foundations for male survivors to become better husbands, partners, fathers, friends, etc. as they heal and can expand their capacity for connection and intimacy.
What is your message to others looking to explore healing and recovery following a sexual assault?
If you are a male who has experienced sexual victimization, know that healing resources are now available – take the leap to seek help; join a listserv or social media feed so you can become more aware of resources that are available. Try to find a way to make it safe enough to seek healing resources sooner rather than later.
If you are an ally who has a family member, friend or loved one who is – or who you suspect is – a male survivor, explore how you can make it safe enough to engage with him to talk openly. Don’t be afraid to be curious and ask; male survivors are often afraid to initiate disclosure but made be receptive– and appreciative – of “asks” that are delivered with care, compassion, and safety.
What are some of the ways that men can engage in a healing community?
There are resources for men – like support groups through local Rape Recovery Centers; healing retreats such as the MenHealing Weekend or Day of Recovery events; through participating in social media networks and on-line support services for male survivors; etc. Do google searches for the topics related to male survivors and men will discover lots of resources that are now available in 2019/2020.
Jim Struve
What motivated you to get involved in the work you do?
I attended college at the University of Wisconsin-Madison during the late 1960s. Experiences during those formative years catapulted me into becoming a lifelong social justice activist.
In my late 20’s, I was hired - with no real social work experience - by government Child & Family Services in Atlanta. Relatively soon into that job, I was promoted to the Emergency Services Unit, working with abused and neglected male youth: I worked in that position for about 4 ½ years; then worked for 3 years in a Residential Treatment facility with Troubled Boys, most of whom were victims of abuse or neglect.
Although I lacked any official clinical degree, I surprised myself and my employers by my degree of competence and effectiveness in working with victims of sexual victimization. A supportive employer allowed me to secure more official professional credentials while I maintained full-time employment. (I was too poor to quit my job so attended graduate school while maintaining a full-time job.) I was fortunate to attend the School of Social Work at Atlanta University, a Historically Black College that had a strong emphasis on training Social Workers to be social justice advocates. I received my MSW at age 32. With my advanced degree, I obtained employment as a Social Worker in a Psych Hospital setting. Within a short period of time, I was promoted to Director of Clinical Services, positions I held at 2 different hospitals
I became involved with the Georgia Council on Child Abuse and began to challenge the lack of services for male survivors, resulting in me beginning to conduct clinical services to adult male survivors. Along the way – at about age 34 - I had the self-realization that I was also a survivor. I had never forgotten memories of sexual violation during my early childhood and thru much of my adolescence – it was just so normal that I never considered it to be victimization. Even during my early career working with survivors, I failed to connect the dots that I was the same as many of the males I was working with. But my realization provided insight into why I had been so effectively working with male victims/survivors during the preceding years, without any formal training.
Once I embraced my identity as a survivor as well as a Social Worker, I quickly mobilized my energies to address social justice issues related to sexual victimization. I was outraged that an issue so important to my core was so invisible and by the lack of services. I had the unexpected opportunity to meet 2 wonderful men who were also both Social Workers and survivors. We combined our energies and committed to organizing a public conference to leverage more visibility for male survivors. One of the men lived in St. Paul and was able to persuade organizers of a conference on male offenders to add a second day during which we could address issues relevant to male survivors. 200 people attended. This was 1988.
I committed to organizing a conference in 1989 that would focus exclusively on non-offending male survivors. We conducted a 3-day conference in Atlanta that was attended by 450 people from 14 countries. To my knowledge, this was the first free-standing male survivor-only conference anywhere (in other words not an add-on or combined with offender conference). I helped to form a planning committee with the mission to organize a series of annual conferences in several cities around the country. By 1995 (after 5 additional male survivor only conferences, we incorporated as a national organization to continue the work. That organization still exists as MaleSurvivor.org. In 2001, some members of MaleSurvivor launched a Weekend of Recovery (WOR) program to conduct 3-day healing retreats for male survivors. I joined the WOR program in 2003. In 2017, we incorporated the WOR program as an independent 501c3 entity, now known as MenHealing, and I began my tenure as Executive Director of that new organization. As of October 2019, we have conducted 77 WOR healing retreats.
My motivation to do this work is integrated into my identity. I am deeply committed to ensuring that males are able to receive healing resources that were never available to me; I believe that healing from sexual trauma may reduce toxic masculinity and allow new models of masculinity; I am excited to use my years in “retirement” to be more fully available for social justice work, free of the worries about paying my mortgage and therefore more fully available to change the world for male survivors and those who love us.
For more information on Men Healing, please visit www.menhealing.org
Tools for Healing: Reconnect to self through creative expression
There’s a lot to be said about making art. There are classes and rule books and critics that will tell you where you rank and how to be better. How to relate to an audience. How to be marketable. What we never talk about is the desire to create something. What drives us to imagine something new and then offer it up to the world?
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.”
There’s a lot to be said about making art.
There are classes and rule books and critics that will tell you where you rank and how to be better. How to relate to an audience. How to be marketable. What we never talk about is the desire to create something. What drives us to imagine something new and then offer it up to the world? It’s a very particular feeling, to want to create something. It feels like what a flower must feel like before blooming--it knows that it’s time to unfurl and be seen. But this desire doesn’t get nurtured in our daily lives. For most of us, anyway. And I want to show you what I’ve learned about holding onto that feeling, never letting it fade, always believing that I am creating even if I can’t see my creation yet. This can be a way of looking at ourselves with compassion when we know we are in a cocoon. Because healing is also creating.
Creating means reminding yourself that you are worthy of creating.
Our desire for self-expression can easily get tied up in questions of worthiness. Many of us genuinely feel that we have little to offer in the way of art. We feel that we haven’t uncovered any hidden truths worth sharing. But how does that attitude affect the way we evaluate our experiences? It tells us that our experiences are not rich with meaning and that we are not equipped to harvest meaning from them. But the human mind is so driven to live and to find meaning in living. Self-expression is a way of validating our life force. Seeing its meaning and its worth.
So when we are examining our desires for self-expression, it’s always worthwhile to examine our ideas about worthiness and the ways we may be holding ourselves back from our true expression. There are many ways of dampening or toning down our authentic tone, but the sound made by your life needs to be heard, or the orchestra as a whole is incomplete.
Creating means walking the path to connectedness.
Self-expression is the act of expressing love to yourself and the world. Where trauma makes us feel isolated and separated, self-expression reminds us that we are always connected.
Gabor Mate, a physician and childhood trauma specialist, has written that “the essence of trauma is disconnection from ourselves. Trauma is not terrible things that happen from the other side—those are traumatic. But the trauma is that very separation from the body and emotions. So, the real question is, “How did we get separated and how do we reconnect?”
By nurturing our desires to create and express ourselves, we explore the pathways that connect our minds back to our bodies. And when we share our creations with the world, we reconnect with the world around us. In this way, healing from trauma can be an opportunity to recreate our very existence, and learn to express ourselves from a place of love and connection rather than fear.
The desire to reconnect with oneself is the same as the desire to create. With these desires in mind, you can aspire to express yourself honestly, without restraint. Those feelings of separation from yourself and others can become an opportunity to close the gap through self-expression.
Meditation is a creative practice that lets you into your inner world and shows you what is forming there. Here are some meditative activities that can create a space for you to nurture your creative drive.
Walking
Reading
Cleaning
Examining your face in the mirror
Dancing
Drawing or doodling
Sitting outside with no distractions
Having an honest conversation with someone you love
Closing your eyes, laying down, and listening to music on headphones
Looking at trees, sitting under trees, climbing trees
Spending time with children
Sewing, weaving, knitting
Gardening
Each of us has a unique life force inside us that is always collecting and forming, imagining the new. How we choose to share it is always up to us. There are no rules or expectations. We are all capable of blooming, and none of us will look the same when we do.
This Blog post has been brought to you by Tamsin Clement. She is a writer living in Provo who teaches writing workshops for women at community centers and healing facilities across Utah Valley. You can find her on Instagram at @tamsinese if you’d like to stay updated on her upcoming workshops and courses.
Tools for Healing: Creativity
Many times when we experience trauma in our lives, parts of ourselves including our passions and creativity can be impacted. We may experience a loss of drive, passion, and inspiration in our lives. Part of the healing process is to awaken the creative life that has been hidden, untapped, or masked.
“Art is a way of emptying the mind and centering the self.”
Many times when we experience trauma in our lives, parts of ourselves including our passions and creativity can be impacted.
We may experience a loss of drive, passion, and inspiration in our lives. Part of the healing process is to awaken the creative life that has been hidden, untapped, or masked. Creativity is a process of discovering ourselves through any art form that comes from an emotional depth. Art and creativity invite us to practice the courage to let go, express, and release. We also gain insight by witnessing and exploring our art. It can be helpful to develop a relationship with the messages, symbols, patterns that are revealed through our creativity.
When we open the door to creativity, negative beliefs and judgments may arise. We may think:
“I am not an artist”, “What I painted is ugly”, “I am not a dancer, writer, painter, potter….etc.” We may feel reluctance to start due to fear of what may be revealed in our artwork.
If this is the case, ask yourself:
“What holds me back from doing art?” “What will help me feel brave to do so?” “When did I stop painting (dancing, writing, drawing, etc)” “How old was I?”
Getting to know our younger selves, particularly re-learning what we used to love to do can be a great place to start.
Another invitation is to create an affirmation that helps foster a supportive creative environment. An affirmation can set an intention for the artwork and help release the inner critic or negative beliefs about the self. Here are a few examples of affirmations to support creativity:
I am willing to experience my creative energy.
My creativity leads me closer to my true self.
I am allowed to nurture my inner artist.
I honor and respect what I create today.
Setting aside time each day or week to engage in a creative process can be incredibly supportive to healing. Research studies show that engaging in art and creative processes can reduce emotional distress, support emotional regulation, and neural plasticity in the brain. Art can also help in grounding, regulating our nervous systems, and focus our attention on the present. It can also be a way to engage in an embodied mindfulness practice in using our felt sense of our body while being creative.
People who have undergone trauma and who engage in art therapy along with psychotherapy have been shown to have higher levels of recovery from PTSD than those who engage in talk therapy alone. This is thought to be due to the fact that making art fosters feelings of control and power that the trauma had stolen from them. Bessel Van der Kolk, a renowned psychiatrist who has researched and developed effective treatments for traumatic stress says in regards to the expressive therapies, “The Capacity of art, music, and dance to circumvent the speechlessness that comes with terror may be one reason they are used as trauma treatments in cultures around the world.” (Van der Kolk, 2014)
Creativity can look different for everyone. We asked our team how they express their creativity:
Morning Pages. I write three freehand pages in the morning to dump my mind. I write my truth without a filter. I write down any and all thoughts. It helps me start my day and move thoughts through.
Making collages to support me in what is most important. I look for items in newspapers, magazines that I enjoy and on a theme. It helps provide clarity in my life.
Create an art journal. I take 10-20 minutes a day to record my feelings through a quick expression.
Going to a dance class or dancing to my favorite music to shake loose the stressors of the day. Movement can be healing and restorative as it loosens traumatic energy in the body and can release pent up energy.
I enjoy using clay to make figurines and art. I have found it healing to mold the clay as I did as a child.
Here are some resources we find helpful in developing a daily practice for art.
Please look out for group services on our website and social media to begin your healing at the RRC.